It is vitally important to understand the vast difference between our wounded self and our essence – our true soul self:

• WE created our wounded self.
• GOD-That-is-Love created our soul self.

Our soul self is our true essence, our inner child, the part of our soul that lives within our body, while our wounded self is a fabrication - what we created to try to feel safe as a child.

Wounded Feelings, Existential Feelings

Our soul, our inner child, often expresses through our feelings, and our feelings are our inner guidance, always offering us vital information through both our wounded feelings and our painful existential feelings of life. There is a huge difference between wounded painful feelings and existential painful feelings regarding the information they are offering us.

• WE cause our wounded feelings.

Our wounded feelings are informing us about what is happening internally - that we are abandoning ourselves. Our anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, blaming, anger, aloneness, emptiness, jealousy, and fear of the future are letting us know that we are operating from the conditioned false beliefs of our wounded self.

• LIFE and OTHERS’ BEHAVIORS cause our existential painful feelings.

Our existential painful feelings are letting us know about what is happening externally with people and situations, so that we can take loving action on our own behalf or on behalf of others. Our loneliness lets us know that someone's heart is closed or that we need to reach out for companionship. Our heartache and heartbreak let us know that someone is being hurtful and unkind. Our sorrow is what we might feel when people are hurting others, and our grief is what we feel in the face of loss. Our fear in the moment is letting us know of real and present danger. Our outrage is letting us know that something is unjust and hopefully it moves us to take loving actions, and our helplessness over others is letting us know that we need to accept or leave a situation.

Our existential wonderful feelings - inner peace, joy, inner fullness, contentment, heart filled with love - are letting us know that we are taking loving care of ourselves. 

Managing our Feelings

There is a difference between how we manage our wounded feelings and how we manage our existential painful feelings:

• Wounded Feelings - The Six Steps of Inner Bonding

We do the Six Steps of Inner Bonding anytime we are feeling our wounded feelings. By doing the Six Steps, we discover how we are abandoning ourselves - what false beliefs and judgments we are telling ourselves, what we are ignoring doing for ourselves, and how we are numbing our feelings with our various addictions. As we go through the Six Steps, we discover the loving action toward ourselves and take the loving action. The result of this is that our wounded feelings resolve, we feel relief, and we move toward feeling our wonderful feelings.

•  Existential Painful Feelings

We embrace with deep compassion - with caring, tenderness, gentleness, and understanding - our painful feelings of heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, sorrow, grief, helplessness over others, and outrage - giving them the love and attention that we would give a hurting child. We do the Six Steps, but in Step Three, we ask what is happening externally rather than internally that is causing the pain and take whatever loving action is appropriate. We attend immediately to fear of real and present danger, taking loving action to create safety, and we do what we can to right an injustice.

Our Soul

The energy of our soul is huge, way too big to fit inside our body. The part of our soul that is inside is our inner child who is communicating with us all the time through our feelings.

The rest of our soul is all around us - our higher Self. This part of our soul communicates with us through words, images, dreams, and situations.

When we want to know the loving action toward ourselves, we open to our higher soul, which is the doorway to truth, love, compassion, and wisdom. Through opening to learning about loving ourselves and keeping the frequency of our body high with clean unprocessed organic food, we are able to access the love and compassion we need to do the Six Steps of Inner Bonding, as well as to nurture ourselves when we are in pain, and to take the loving actions we need to take to manage and relieve pain.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions, and Relationships."