Are you afraid to allow yourself to be all that you can be?

I often hear my clients say things like:

"If I allow myself to be too big something bad will happen."

"People will be jealous of me if I'm all I can be. I don't want to be rejected."

"If I am all I can be I will end up alone."

Where Did You Get Your False Beliefs?

If you have these beliefs, where did you get them? Did you come from a family where one or both of your parents were threatened by your abilities? Did you feel that you had to limit yourself in order to feel a part of your family? Do you still feel this way?

Sometimes we feel a deep kind of tribal attachment to our families, and we are afraid that if we become all we are capable of being, we will feel too lonely in our families. For example, one of my clients came from an alcoholic family where the closeness and connection came from drinking together. He wanted to stop drinking but he was terrified of feeling too disconnected from his family. Another of my clients had the same problems come up regarding eating and losing weight. Eating was the way her family connected, and it scared her to be too different from them.

I've had many clients who limited themselves regarding their achievements because the idea of making more money or being more successful than their parents or their partner make them feel guilty and unsafe. Others' jealousy and rejection may tap into the wounded self's fears of abandonment, creating limitation.

Sometimes, deep in our unconscious, we may have the "burned at the stake" syndrome. If you are a woman and you believe in past lives, you may have a fear of being harmed or ostracized if you allow yourself to know what you know and be who you truly are. Fortunately, in today's society, while there still may be some prejudice against powerful women, we will no longer be killed for our abilities!

It’s Time to Soar!

The problem is that when you are protecting against others’ rejection of you, you are rejecting yourself - your essence, your inherent desire to be all you came here to be. You will never feel joyful and fulfilled by limiting yourself to protect yourself against the reaction of others.

In reality, there is no real loss. Those people who really love you will be thrilled by experiencing you being all you can be. Those people who are jealous and reject you are not people who will ever support you in your highest good.

Discovering your joy means allowing yourself to be and express all that you came here to be. When you allow yourself to do this, you will discover others who love sharing your true self with you, who feel joy for your joy and success, and who support you in being all you came here to be. 

So, soar as high as you can! Whatever pain or loss comes from being all you can be will be more than made up for by the joy of fulfilling your own soul's journey!

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."