Marlene's whole life was focused on attempting to control the outcome of things. A successful clothing designer, her thoughts were constantly occupied with fantasies of how she hoped her business would expand and what she could do to make sure things turned out the way she wanted. When she wasn't preoccupied with her business, she was ruminating on the kind of man she wanted to meet and how she could impress him into liking her. Then she would go on to thinking about how much she wanted to have a baby and how time was passing her by.

Marlene rarely felt happy in the moment because she was so occupied with the future. She believed that when her business was going the way she wanted and she found the man she wanted, and had a baby, then she would be happy. Meanwhile, she often felt empty and depressed.

Ari also felt empty and depressed most of the time. A successful lawyer with a lovely wife and two children, Ari was rarely present in the moment. He was constantly occupied with thoughts of how he could control the outcome of his cases, how he could get his wife to be more turned on to him, how he could make sure his kids were healthy and successful in school, and how he could make sure that people liked him. He rarely enjoyed all that he had in the present because he was constantly attaching his happiness to future events.

Marlene and Ari, like so many people, believe that their happiness is determined by outcomes and that they can control outcomes. This attachment to controlling the outcome keeps them from being present in the moment. They are missing their lives.

Letting go of attachment to outcomes and to attempting to control outcomes is a major challenge for many people - a spiritual challenge.

In order to let go of trying to control outcomes, you need to be in faith that there is a higher power that intrinsically supports your highest good. If you trusted that you were always being supported in the highest good of your soul's journey by your spiritual guidance - God, Goddess, your spirit guide, guardian angel, Master Teacher, or your own higher soul - it would be so much easier to "let go and let God."

It is only when we can let go of thinking about and attempting to control future outcomes that we can be fully present in the moment. Often, when someone is sad or anxious, it is because he or she is attaching to some future outcome and ruminating about it. When you accept that you are not in control of outcomes and consciously give the outcomes to your higher guidance, then there is no longer any need to obsess about them. Letting go of outcomes brings us into this present moment. By being present in the moment, you can be in Step One of Inner Bonding - tuning into your feelings. If you discover that you are not feeling peaceful and joyful, you can move through the Six Steps, discovering what you are thinking and doing that is unloving to yourself and taking the loving action that can result in feeling peaceful and joyful.

As you can see, being attached to controlling outcomes keeps us from being present in this moment with our feelings and experience.

When you are not present with your feelings, you do not know when you are behaving in ways that are harmful to you.

This is what keeps you stuck in anxiety, depression, unhappiness, fear, anger and/or emptiness. If you feel stuck in these feelings, ask yourself, "What am I attaching my happiness to? What am I trying to control?" Asking yourself these questions without judgment, with a deep and compassionate intent to learn will uncover the attachments that are keeping you from feeling the peace and joy of the moment.

Why waste any more of your life by trying to control the future, which you cannot possibly control anyway? Life is right now, in this very moment! Love, peace, joy, and happiness can be experienced right now, when you let go of trying to control the future and open your heart to learning in this present moment.