As many of you know, our wounded self is the part of us that loves to control. In fact, it came into being to try to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. The wounded self believes it can control the outcome of things by thinking negative, judgmental thoughts about you, others and outcomes. It is often addicted to self-judgment and to predicting bad things. It has come to believe that if it judges you enough, you will try harder to be what it believes you need to be to get approval and succeed in life.

The problem is that all the wounded self accomplishes by this negativity is to make you feel bad, which lowers your frequency, making sure that you are operating at too low a frequency for spirit to help you manifest what you want.

Trying to Get Rid of Your Wounded Self is Self-Defeating

It is unloving to your wounded self to try to get rid of it, and anything that is unloving is from your wounded self, not from your loving adult. So trying to get rid of your wounded self is your wounded self attacking itself! All this does is create an inner power struggle of control and resistance and keeps you stuck. The wounded self needs love and compassion to heal and trying to get rid of it is the opposite of that.

What to do? Along with practicing Inner Bonding and healing the false beliefs of the wounded self, you can give your wounded self a new job!

This new job is a way for the wounded self to actually have more control, so it is a job that it is eager to learn.

The New Job...

Thank your wounded self for all it did to help you survive and let it know that now it can have more control over outcomes by thinking about what it wants rather than what it doesn't want - that it has more control when it thinks in positive ways rather than negative ways. It is not hard to train your wounded self to automatically state affirmations rather than judgments. It just takes some practice.

We've learned that affirmations alone do not bring us what we want. But when you train your wounded self to think about what you want rather than what you don't want, AND you allow your essence to feel the excitement of what you want, AND you have a loving adult taking action in your behalf, you have a winning team! All aspects of you are onboard, which raises your frequency and allows spirit to help you manifest what you want.

It Takes Practice to Re-train Your Wounded Self

If every time you find yourself thinking negative and judgmental thoughts, you consciously change them to thoughts about what you want, you will eventually find yourself stopping the negative thoughts. Consistently letting your wounded self know that it can control better and keep you safer by thinking in positive ways rather than in negative ways motivates your wounded self to change its addictive thinking patterns. Don't forget - the wounded self loves to control so anything that gives it MORE control is what it wants!

However, there is a little hitch here. If your wounded self is in charge with its intent to control, you will not have all parts of you onboard and you will not feel happy, raise your frequency, or manifest what you want. The loving adult needs to be the one in charge with the intent to be loving, while enlisting the help of the wounded self. What we are really doing in giving the wounded self a new job is healing the negative addictive patterns of the wounded self.

It is ultimately not about control, but about love!

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."

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