I Pledge Allegiance to My Inner Child and the United State of Wholeness

Three weeks ago, a hurricane was predicted to land in Houston, Texas, where one of my clients newly lives. She had an inner knowing that she should pack up her car and get the heck out of town, but a friend of hers - who had lived in Houston for years - said the storm wouldn’t be any big deal and not to worry about it. So, because she was new to town, she doubted her intuition and went along with his opinion.

As you know by now, the hurricane was horrific, flood waters rose over 4 feet in some neighborhoods - including the part of town where my client lived. In short, her car was flooded and the insurance company may choose to total it (which most definitely is not her preference).

The same person who suggested she stay in town had also invited her to come over to his friend’s house to wait out the storm. Her intuition told her to pack a large suitcase with enough clothes for a week - just in case. This time she listened to herself.

When he saw the size of her suitcase, he made fun of how much stuff she had packed. He said she’d overreacted and that the storm would probably pass in a day or so. It turned out, of course, that she needed that full week of clean clothes because the hurricane was so much worse than most people expected.

My client suffered some shame, anger, and fear when she set aside her innate knowing to comply with her friend’s strong opinion. She was kicking herself. Why didn’t she listen to herself? She was afraid she’d be ridiculed. Afraid people would judge her for overreacting and being “a wimp.” (Which, in fact, happened anyway.) 

She felt at odds with herself as the week went by. Angry that she might have to buy a new car, afraid of what that was going to cost, and shame that she hadn’t listened to herself because she actually trusted her intuition. She’s been practicing the Inner Bonding process for a little while now and has experienced what it feels like to be connected with and listen to her Inner Child and receive the good results that brings.

When we did an Inner Bonding process around it, she was able to forgive herself for caving into pressure from someone older, who had lived there a long time, and seemingly had more confidence than she showed. She ultimately realized that this was a small price to pay for a test of her internal emergency broadcasting system - could she really trust her Guidance? Did her Inner Child really know what she insisted she knew?

The answer is yes. Yes, we can trust our Guidance. Yes, our Inner Child knows what she wants and needs and has very good intuition about people and situations. Where this natural instinct gets thwarted is when our wounded self is afraid to risk losing someone else’s approval. 

Striving for others’ approval is a long, dark rabbit hole if we choose to go down it. A slippery slope to losing connection with ourselves and our truth - our natural compass. Most of us were conditioned to do what others thought was best - especially if we were punished or humiliated if we didn’t do what they demanded. Yet capitulating brings us anger, anxiety, unease, even downright fear. Fragmentation, discord, worry. The opposite of wholeness.

When we disconnect from our own truth, we are rejecting our Inner Child, closing our hearts to her needs, refusing to see or hear her. This signals to our Inner Child that she’s unsafe, that we don’t care about her, are putting someone else first, and are abandoning her.

This tears the delicate balance of our sense of wholeness as well. Our Inner Child needs to be connected to, cared for, considered, and seen & heard by us in order to feel safe and peaceful. We need to unite with her and our Guidance as well. When the Loving Adult steps forward as the Inner Child’s advocate in the world, taking direction from Guidance, then we enter into an internally united state - which is a darn good recipe for wholeness (and providing good results internally and externally). 

Stel Fine

Certified Inner Bonding® Facilitator 

stelfine@yahoo.com 

303-800-5619