The Voice of Limitation & Transforming Beyond It
By Nancy SwisherJune 22, 2013
In this article, Nancy illuminates some aspects of the ego and how to have the power to choose to live beyond it!
The voice of limitation creates the illusion of safety and security. The voice of limitation is also called the ego, the wounded self, and the false self.
Everyone has a voice of limitation. No one is exempt. It’s part of our human hard wiring. In the beginning, it was created to keep us physically safe, to help us literally survive. As we evolved, the voice evolved as well, only now it keeps us safe by convincing us that we are limited, small, and must not venture beyond its identity.
The voice has many guises that arise from your personal history. But beneath all variations of this voice, the same core belief resides: I am limited.
Here are some examples of how this voice has shown up in my client’s lives lately.
Claire, who is single and very much wants a relationship, heard this voice and for a short time let it convince here it was true: “I don’t really want a relationship. It’s just too much trouble. I’m happy the way I am.” Of course she is happy, but the purpose of a relationship is not to assuage unhappiness. We looked deeper at this voice and she realized it was part of her who did not want her life to change one iota! Her wounded self had some false beliefs about intimacy, which were attempting to keep her single! I’m happy to report that she is now dating a wonderful person!
Another client, Kim, who is also single and wants a relationship, heard another voice of limitation. This one said, “If you don’t find your soulmate you will be lonely forever.” This is an ego voice that grasps at external reality, trying to control and change the way things are. As the Buddha taught us, grasping is one of the causes of suffering. As we worked, Kim was able to see that there was a way she did not love herself in the present. Her neediness for relationship arose from this inner abandonment, as is often the case. As she practices self-love, this voice will lose its power.
One more example of the ‘voice of limitation’ comes from a client who is in a marriage but who has worked with this relationship for years and knows deep down it's in her highest good to leave. Her voice sounds like this: “You must work harder. You haven’t tried enough. You promised to stay forever.” She is healing some of these deep-programmed beliefs that come not only from her personal life but also from institutional and cultural traditions.
In order to have power with your personal growth and transformation, you need to understand how your ego works. Many people in popular spiritual and self-help culture tend to act as if you can skip over this voice or around it or if you just learn the right technique or be positive enough it will go away. On the other hand, there are those who think that if you analyze the ego enough, it will somehow go away.
None of these approaches is complete.
In my experience, the ego never goes away! It is our relationship to it that creates awareness, power, and transformation beyond it.
What is the solution to having power with this voice of limitation?
1) Know that you will not ever make it go away. It is part of each of us. This is not bad news. It is your relationship to the ego that matters. Many times just when you are on the verge of greater expansion, the ego arises. Knowing this give you power.
2) Learn and practice the Inner Bonding process! There is no better tool for distinguishing ego from Essence! Your power comes from understanding your personal voice of limitation. So write down those limiting beliefs. This is the first step in being able to step away from them.
3) Meditation is a key practice in order to achieve the power to move beyond the ego. Meditation opens you to the deeper Ground of Being within you. This aspect of Self has never been affected by any of your earthly challenges. This Ground of Being is a place where you are able to let go of needing anything to be different than what it is. By feeling this deep place of Spirit within you, you gain the clarity to discern where your choices are coming from: ego or essence.
4) Cultivate awareness of your focus and learn about the power of your vibration or frequency. We live in a quantum field. We are vibrational beings. What we focus on expands. Our frequency changes throughout the day. When you are in a lower frequency, you will more than likely feel emotions such as fear, depression and have thoughts that match these emotions. The ego is always a low frequency. Take responsibility for your frequency through self-care, including the thoughts you think!
5) Create a daily spiritual practice.
There’s nothing more exciting that making a commitment to transform your Self. You are an unlimited being. Knowing this truth intellectually is quite different than living it. Commit to the above practices to support you. As you evolve and take action to manifest your gifts in the world, the world evolves as well. In other words, your life matters very much, not just to you but also to the whole.
To your highest happiness,
Nancy
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Nancy Swisher, MA, MFA absolutely loves to guide Conscious Evolutionaries in their transformational journey! She’s been leading Inner Bonding workshops & intensives since 2002 and supports an international clientele. If you would like to explore working with Nancy, contact her at nancy@choosingselflove.com to set up a free 30-minute ‘Discovery Session.’
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Daily Inspiration
We draw people to us at our common level of woundedness and our common level of health. Therefore, if you want your relationships to change from conflicted or distant to loving and connected, be devoted to your own healing and become the kind of person you want to attract into your life.
By Dr. Margaret Paul