Who Am I?By Dr. Margaret Paul
February 06, 2012
Take a lesson from Elvis Presley: Learn to define your own worth, instead of having to ask others, "Who am I"
I recently attended a conference and one of the speakers was David Stanley, who lived with Elvis Presley as his stepbrother since David was four years old. His book, about his experiences with Elvis, called “Conversations With the King,” just got published. The book is co-authored by my good friend, Dr. David Gruder.
In the book, and in David Stanley’s presentation at the conference, we learn that Elvis constantly asked David, “Who am I?” He asked him this for the last time, just two days before he died.
According to David, Elvis was a very spiritual man, with profoundly powerful spiritual gifts. Yet, with all his gifts and talents and fame, he didn’t know how to discover who he was. As we all know, he was deeply drug-addicted, which eventually killed him.
I find this to be very sad. It points to the reality that, as much as he had in his life, and as much as he believed in God, he didn’t know how to create a personal connection with his Guidance to define himself and fill himself with love. If he had known how to do this, he would likely not have died from drugs. He would not have felt the emptiness that led to drugs in the first place. Elvis’ life is a good example of how, no matter how much someone has externally, feeling filled comes only from loving ourselves and sharing our love with others.
Do you know who you are? Do you value who you are? Knowing and valuing who you are in your essence is essential to having the motivation to take loving care of yourself. We take care of what we love and value.
Why would Elvis ask David, who was about 20 years younger, who he was? Why wouldn’t he ask God who he was? My guess is that he did not experience two-way communication with his Guidance. It likely never occurred to him to ask God who he was.
My life changed completely when I started asking my Guidance who I am, rather than trying to get others to love me and define my worth. I remember the day, many years ago, when it finally occurred to me that the only way I can know who I am, is through the eyes of my Guidance. I remember realizing that no person on the planet actually has the authority to define my worth. I remember asking my Guidance and hearing, clearly, how my Guidance sees my essence.
I was blown away! I had spent SO much energy over the years trying to get others to see me the way I wanted to be seen, never realizing that I wasn’t seeing myself the way I really am. I was seeing myself through the programmed eyes of my ego wounded self, rather than through the loving eyes of my Guidance.
From that day on, taking loving care of myself became a privilege rather than the burden that I believed it was.
Do you know your beautiful essence? Have you worked with your Guidance to see the magnificence of who you are? Do you realize that you are an individual expression of the Divine?
When you take back the power of defining your own worth, then you no longer need to try to control how others feel about you. For me, this was a huge relief, and freed up so much energy for love, creativity and productivity. It was defining my worth through the eyes of my Guidance that enabled me to stop judging myself, since judging myself was all tied up in trying to get myself to do things right and be ‘perfect’ so that others would love me.
I hope you start today - taking back from others the power to define you, and giving it only to your Guidance, so that you never need to ask anyone else, as Elvis did, “Who am I?”
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Today, notice what you do when pain comes up - especially the pain of loneliness and heartache when someone is being unloving with you. Do you get irritated, angry or judgmental? Do you resist or withdraw? Do you people-please and give yourself up? Do you numb out with food or other substances, or with activities such as TV? Notice the ways you might be avoiding your feelings rather than compassionately attending to them.
By Dr. Margaret Paul