Giving and Receiving

Giving and receiving is one of the basic laws in the universe. Nature provides many examples where both giving and receiving are effortless, unconditional, happening all the time.

Giving and receiving is also part of our inner beings. It is who we are at our core. For most of us both giving and receiving are conditional and a source of a lot of distress.

When a child is born, a baby is completely open, able to receive and freely give. As it grows, the harshness of the human condition starts to take a toll. To survive, a child starts to build a shell to protect against the pain it cannot handle. One incident after the other and the shell becomes thicker and thicker. This is the birth of the ego wounded self and its many protective and controlling behaviours.

Giving

Earth School is tough place to be and a child quickly learns in order to get love and attention he or she must give something in return. So giving becomes conditional. A child also gets a message: There is not enough. Or he/she must be a certain way to get anything, must achieve status and the list goes on. As the child grows into an adult, giving comes from guilt, fear, superiority, or obligation, while their inner nature goes into deep hiding.

Belief there is not enough triggers our primal fears for survival and safety, and further closes our hearts and ability to give and receive.

However we can all tap into a feeling of enoughness and give from that place. That feeling has nothing to do with a bank account, status or anything else. It comes from our inner nature that is abundant, caring and giving. At those moments we experience grace.

Receiving

Some of us are great givers but poor receivers. We easily deflect a complement. Look around to see who it was addressed to - this is how deep separation from our inner nature is.

There is always a good reason behind our behaviours. Inability to receive is covering a deep hurt that closed our hearts. Once upon a time we have decided it is better not to expect anything and then get disappointed or hurt again. This kind of belief is very deep, hidden; protections against it are very strong. We all have it. The hurt is also bundled with feelings of worthlessness.

If you do not feel worthy you do not feel deserving as well, and this automatically closes your heart and ability to receive.

To truly receive you need to open your heart. You need to risk getting hurt and disappointed again, and be willing to work through feelings that may arise. You also need to redefine your self worth.

As long as you define yourself by status, money, power, beauty - you will always end up in situations that would challenge your sense of self worth and prove that you are not deserving. You need to find the truth and reconnect with your beautiful inner child that is precious, perfect, worthy beyond words, and deserves all the love in the world just by being, not by doing.

You can truly give and receive only if you are able to give to your inner child unconditionally. Paradoxically, that gets mirrored back to you from the universe through other people.

Challenge:  Your challenge this holiday season is to give a gift to yourself - something that your Inner Child would love to have. Wrap it up, put it under the Christmas tree and feel the joy and excitement coming from your inner child.

Wishing you grace filled and joyful holiday season. 

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Ivanka Jankovic is Holistic Energy Practitioner, the founder of Gaia Holistic Center. Ivanka facilitates lasting change for growth oriented or spiritually minded people who feel frustrated and stuck, who have tried every other healing modality with no lasting success. Through their work with Ivanka they are able to finally and permanently understand their purpose, create loving relationships and recapture the Joy they are missing. Visit her web site http://www.gaiahc.com/