Self-Acceptance and Well-Being

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

Self-acceptance is about being in alignment with your True Self, being present here and now, in the present moment.

It also means you have peeled off false and limiting beliefs about yourself, others and life in general. It is not a destination, but an ongoing journey.

The signs of self-acceptance are lightness of being, vibrant health, harmony in body, mind and spirit, sense of purpose and meaning.

Lack of self-acceptance comes as a result of lies we keep telling ourselves. We are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, simply not enough in many areas. This distorted image propels many of us to become somebody else. Ego wounded self gets created, and the gap between who you think you should be, and who you really are gets wider and wider.

The wider the gap, the bigger is a sense of discomfort. Ego wounded self invests tremendous amount of energy in building an image of you that is more acceptable, lovable, hoping to gain safety, love, security. 

Without self-acceptance, you may feel like you are walking in somebody else’s shoes. Doing right things, eating right food, having right status, hanging out with right people turns out not to be enough. You cannot relax into your own skin. There is an underlying sensation that you are missing something and that propels you into a never ending quest.

Lack of self-acceptance shows as:

1. Negative self-talk, judgment and criticism of Self and others. Judgement and criticism are about control of Self and others hoping for desired outcome. 

2. Worry and fear. What if you get exposed and somebody could see things from your not enough list. So you better work hard and present a picture of yourself that is more acceptable and lovable.

3. Anxiety anticipating bad things happening in the future, trying to prevent them. The more you plan the future with all the details, and the more you redo your plans over and over again, the greater your anxiety gets.

Negative emotions lead to inner and outer turmoil, greatly affect clarity and your ability to make good decision, or make any decision at all.

Emotions have huge impact on the body - every cell gets information you are stressed out. Energy that is meant to circulate gets blocked, stagnates. Prolonged periods of unhappiness start to manifest as body aches and pains, sometimes as serious illness.

Signs of self-acceptance are:

1. Healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth allow you to explore life, try new things, and to learn from your own mistakes.

2. Absence of victimhood. You are accepting life with its ups and downs. Challenges become opportunity to deepen your knowledge and growth. You do not fight or resist challenging situations any more.

3. Ongoing sense of well-being, sense of clarity. Your body, mind and spirit are in harmony. There is vibrant energy all around you.

4. Gratitude. You are grateful for big and small things in your life. You regularly count your blessings.

Journey to self-acceptance starts with a decision that you want to be You - nobody else. The toll of being disconnected from your True Self gets so high that you have no choice but to embarck on a journey. Crisis triggers this kind of decision: loss of job, health, financial or relationship challenge. This kind of decision comes from your Spirit. Once the decision has been made resources and people show up to support you. You are never alone. 

A quote from Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love beautifully describes the True Self.

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. 

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.“

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Ivanka Jankovic is Holistic Energy Practitioner and  the founder of Gaia Holistic Center, a holistic practice that utilizes transformative holistic methods that provide  the pathway to fulfilment and freedom. Visit her web site www.gaiahc.com