"How Do You Like Your Eggs?"

          There is a scene or two from a 1999 Julia Roberts movie called the “Runaway Bride”, “When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who had no idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person’s fault because I had done everything to convince him I was exactly what he wanted.” Julia’s character, Maggie, was known in the town as the woman that had never made it down the aisle. She wasn’t able to make a commitment to another person because she hadn’t made a commitment to herself.

            Inner Bonding is an incredible six-step process that can bring peace, contentment and self discovery once you make the decision that it is more important to learn than to convince others of your worth or value.  Often one can get caught up in the need for approval from others so deeply that one forgets about what it is that brings joy. We can become experts in pleasing other people, to become what we think they want only to become invisible, or at least feel that way.

            What brings you joy? What do you like? What do you not like? Some of us have no idea, because we have had our eyes on other people awaiting approval. There is another scene where Richard Gere’s character Ike addresses Julia’s Maggie with the question, “How do you like your eggs?” noting that she was always preferring the eggs the same way as her current fiancé. Maggie/Julia realizes he is right. When later in the film, after she has left Richard/Ike on a FedEx truck, she arrives at his apartment to tell him, “Eggs Benedict. I love Eggs Benedict. I hate all other kinds of eggs.” Maggie had separated herself, to make some discoveries about what she liked apart from any relationship.

            Knowing yourself is one of the great benefits of Inner Bonding. The six steps help us uncover false beliefs such as “it’s someone else’s job to make me happy” and “if I do what I want or speak up for myself, no one will want me” and many others of what I call the "greatest hits". I have discovered that I had been on a similar path. I thought I needed another person to love me to validate my worth. I was always surprised that whenever I was in a relationship I would feel invisible and feel as though I had disappeared. The only relief I felt was when I was ending a relationship. I knew I had time to connect with me, except with the belief that my worth was outside of me, I got hooked up with the next guy with a cute smile, simply sure he was “the one”.  Now I recognize I want to know who I am because I never want to be invisible again. My inner child does the “happy dance” when I check in, and she has a lot to say about what she likes and doesn’t like. She expresses herself in new ways, and together we’re making new discoveries. As my loving adult grows stronger, I find she trusts me more with deeper information. This information all leads to healing, happiness and peace.

            I have discovered I would rather be vegetarian even though one of my wounded-self beliefs was that vegetarians are difficult people. I have discovered I enjoy the outdoors, time with friends (more one on one than large crowds), I like to dance but not in crowded loud bars, I prefer reading to television (no longer embarrassed if I’m not up to date on the latest shows), and I appreciate my time to myself. There is more to learn each day, and I am staying in tune with both my inner child and guidance, knowing that it is there that I will find my happiness and ultimately my greater connection to others, because I connected with myself first. 

            How do you like your eggs? Make sure to check in with your inner child/essence often. This statement has become synonymous in my life to Margaret’s “What would be loving to me right now?” I am thankful for the Inner Bonding process as it helped me move from looking outside for what would make me happy, to moving to the true source of peace love and joy! Happy Inner Bonding!