Transformation or Reformation? You Get To Choose

Throwing down the gauntlet is a phrase that comes to us from medieval times when combat was done hand-to-hand. The knights wore gloves called gauntlets to protect their hands, which were made of various materials from fabric and leathers to chain-mail and plate armour. When a knight was wanting to challenge his enemy to combat, he would throw down his glove at his enemy's feet. The opponent would pick up the gauntlet to accept the challenge or walk away to refuse it.

One day, as I was thinking about my relationship with my wounded self, the Spirit spoke to me using this – throwing down the gauntlet – picture. The Spirit asked me to think about what my response is when my WS throws down the gauntlet challenging me with it's false beliefs. Will I see WS as a worthy opponent whom I could somehow engage in combat? Could I win, going head to head trying to convince my WS that it's thoughts hold no water and there's no real substance to them? I had to answer - Yes. I used to believe my time and energy was well spent engaging in these battles, throwing my WS positive affirmation bones when it wanted to tell me all the world was depressing, and hurling ideas of reform to it when it wanted me to come up with a way to 'get fixed'. Round and round we'd go as I secretly held the belief that I could weaken its power by convincing it of the truth. Even after years of getting beat up, gashed and sliced to ribbons, I'd jump back up, wipe the dust off and go back for more...a glutton for punishment.

I sensed that the Spirit wanted to give me a new way to see this wounded self whose hook into my life was a constant throwing down of its gauntlet. The Spirit's answer was: “Don't pick it up. Do not be tempted to use your time and energy to try to change the WS mindset. Instead, learn the lessons that the wounded self can teach you each time you are tempted to control or protect by just listening to the false self's beliefs. No other action is required of you.”

I saw a line drawn down the middle of a page in my mind's imagination. It was time for me to learn the distinction between the WS way of fixing its damaged image called self-improvement as opposed to the Spirit's way of creating lasting and permanent change by enabling me to grab onto accepting my new true nature identity.

On the one side of the line, I saw the word reformation and on the other side, transformation. Reformation comes to me and says, “You're not good enough the way you are (WS mindset) but I can help you seek to improve.” The WS throwing down the gauntlet (You're not good enough) waits for me to pick it up and try all the various ways it suggests, all its different regimes to correct my errors by removing my 'defects'. If I pick up the gauntlet, my foundation on which I am standing is the same as my opponents (False belief: You're not good enough the way you are) and I will be fooled by the bait offered me through the temporary fixes made on the surface level in my life. Looking back at my history, I conclude that all my WS has to offer me in its reformations is a new version or re-hash of my old patterns making it seem seem like 'The solution' in its new spiffy packaging. My wounded self image is motivated by external intimidation ( fear of man) but the Spirit offers me another way through internal revelation being motivated by the Love of God.

Looking to the Spirit's way, I learn a new method of becoming who I really am called transformation. This word comes from a Greek word: metamorphoo – means to change from one degree of glory to another with ever increasing glory. The caterpillar that changes into a butterfly changes from inside out as it receives a new nature. This Greek word also suggests an abrupt change induced by or as if by magic or a supernatural power. In transformation comes a marked change in appearance, character, condition and function.

If I chose to pick up the gauntlet, I get to indulge in all my wounded self's self-improvement tricks and techniques to numb out the pain of believing I'm damaged goods and that I'll never be good enough. If I chose not to give into the temptation of finding ways to salve my supposed woundedness, but instead walk away from the battle that my negative self image loves to invite me into, I move into the flight of transformation (standing on Spirit's foundational belief that my essence/spirit is made perfect already).

I must say to my wounded self image, “I am sorry. I just don't see things your way anymore. I'm not looking to improve what man is consumed with – the outward appearance. I have fallen in love with the Spirit's way of seeing myself – already perfect in my essence. Your remedies looking to change me from the outside in are no longer what I am interested in. I've been given my stamp of approval by the Spirit and as I focus on that foundational truth, I am and will continue to transform from the inside out. Throw down your gauntlet as you have the habit of doing, but don't expect me to pick it up. Your mindset is opposed to the mindset of the Spirit and I know that this will always be this way. The Light and Love that The Transformer brings with Him as I agree with His truth, enables me to rise above you and your wounded self image thoughts/lies. My victory is not won by trying to convince you of the Spirit's ways, but in letting the gauntlet you've thrown down at my feet lay in silence. You no longer have my cooperation to spend time fighting this dual that leads me in endless circles using reformations to entice me.”

I choose to take flight instead, placing my full identity in my spirit. Though it be hidden to the naked eye, it is what transforms me from the inside out. I accept my inability to be able to control my own wounded self image from wanting to throw down the gauntlet each morning as I open my eyes to a new day. I accept that it is my choice to pick it up and lose the battle or let it lay and rise above it. I thank my opponent, kissing her on the nose each time she reminds me of 'the way it really is' in her world. She gives me understanding of the why's of my own actions and behaviors, the repetitive cycles that run and run and run. My enemy is now my friend as I see through her tough battle scarred exterior, throwing down her glove at my feet. There's great sorrow in me knowing that she won't listen to truth or reason, but needs to cling to her damaged goods image. I wish I could change that, but instead, I will accept her as she is. As she shares the reasons why she resists believing any other way, I learn compassion for myself. She gives me the gift of understanding not only of my own self, but of all the other travelers I will encounter as I walk this pathway through Spirit's doorway of transformation.

All my struggling with my so-called enemy/opponent has made this used-to-be caterpillar strong enough to punch my way out of my own wounded self image cocoon. I have been given a Promised Land to live and thrive in, taking to heart any and all responsibility that the Spirit places within my transformed hands. Metamorphoo – changing from one degree of glory to another with ever increasing glory: This is my hope of true and lasting change supernaturally happening from the inside out as I agree with my Creator that I am made in His image. A bow and curtsy to you, my friend and foe WS. Without you and your laying down the gauntlet in my life, I would never have sought out and found understanding and compassion and for this I will always be eternally grateful. Letting that glove lay in silence, having gained the wisdom from our battle history, I must now take flight, rising above the ways of your wounded self thinking world.