You Won't Find Compassion in a Twinkie!

      Where can compassion be found?...Compassion is an important ingredient in opening our hearts to learning, but often rather than seeking to open I had been seeking a compassion substitute....except I found compassion is not...

           in a twinkie

in a bottle of booze

in another marriage

in a new car, house, or possession

in my story

in what should have been

....the truth is compassion is not "out" there experience but comes from seeking within and connection to your source. If I continue to focus outside of myself for relief, I will never find it...because the love I am seeking cannot be satisfied by anything but a connection to my own essence. If I am seeking the target of my essence and I aim outside of myself...it's as if I'm driving east while very hopeful of reaching California...although I continue to believe it doesn't matter how I get there...driving east I will never reach California. I can tell myself all day that I'm going to be more compassionate, but if I focus outside, I will never connect to what I am needing the most....a connection to my own internal guidance, my essence and ultimately spirit containing all the love I've ever needed.

            My life has been a series of stories, appearing as my life but in moving into my body and experiencing my feelings that I have found these truths. The mind likes to tell stories, but the body will never lie....it holds the truth in every one of its cells. This is the center of the Inner Bonding process. The body is a gift that allows the spark of the divine, a divining rod, that bypasses the ego. The ego does not live in the body and only exists in the mind. So as I move into Step one: move into the body and tune into my feelings...I can bypass the story and move toward the truth. My body has all the information that I need, the knowing is in there and not outside of me....nor is the love and compassion I need to seek healing. I have been given the gifts...as I received all I needed in the womb...I was built equipped for the journey. I am not lacking, the only belief of lack comes from my ego...as Dr. Wayne Dyer calls it EGO=Edging God Out. My ego would have me believe I am separate and therefore not connected to others or my environment....my body awareness lets me know that that is a lie...as I feel my connection to the larger sense of life as I take a simple walk through the woods with my dog.

            I realize the importance of compassion...and when in need most before tuning into what I needed...I might have chosen to call a friend on the phone and complain, drink a glass of wine, get an ice cream.....or many other addictions such as tune out in front of the television. I was unaware however that one of my biggest addictions was to my story. I had been abused, physically, emotionally and verbally...and I thought that was my ticket to being more deserving of love than some others who had an "easy" life....the trick was pity, never feels like love....so I kept seeking....through relationships that did not last because I thought I was with the "wrong" person....rather than being aware my story kept me in my ego, apart from the truth....and ultimately apart from the love I needed to heal. It's like asking where my glasses could be....when they are on top of my head....no matter where I look in the house I can't find them until I look in the mirror...or explore my own being.

            I realize through this experience, what I choose as my intent is my brush that creates my life experience....so why would I choose distraction through things that only keep me from creating my ultimate creation. I seem to think it has a lot to do with fear.... I hear it every day in my own stories and stories of my friends. It is only now through this awareness that any of us can change directions by changing intent.

            Love is powerful, the ultimate power and from my experience I was in fear because I was looking for love and compassion in all the wrong places...meaning it wasn't really love but power over (external power) my fear...but I was seeking external power through the use of false love...a false God in a way...making other things love that are not love....a twinkie, a candy bar, a drink, a marriage....or an event like a wedding, a new car....a love story...key word being story. So now rather than going into story, I can go into my body and seek the truth....and the truth has created a new view of my journey.