Give Your Heart Wings

"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." Denis Waitley

            I believe this applies to our internal child as well. Inner Bonding helps us muck through our beliefs that hold us back, our beliefs that someone else can do it better for us, that we need to hang onto wrongs because if we forgave them it means it was okay that abuse was happening. The beliefs long held are often more of what is holding us back than the people we think "ruined us" made us unhealthy, unmotivated, and discouraged. That somehow our being stuck has more to do with what other people have done than our own responsibility. This is where getting our wings begins, by rooting ourselves in personal responsibility for our own progress, our own happiness. Happiness is not out there but cultivated within.

            Inner Bonding breaks this down into 6-steps, easy to understand, powerful if used with the appropriate intent. If my intention is to control others or even to control my own feelings I have missed the most important step. What am I hoping to accomplish by practicing these steps? Am I trying to get others to like me? Am I trying to get a raise or promotion? Keep my current job? Or am I cultivating my own sense of loving responsibility for my own being? Awaken to the possibility that I am just one part of the larger whole, and my actions do have an impact not only for my life but those around me? It begins with my intention. If my intention is to learn to be a more loving, compassionate and responsible human being...my Inner Bonding processes only goal is for me to learn. I was not put here to gain accolades, position, or power over others. My part I play is important, but no more important than that of my neighbors, family or friends. We are all a part of the whole, and if one person suffers then the effect is far reaching across the planet. I can however begin with me....as the song goes...let there be peace on earth....and let it begin with me.

            So what does it look like to plant my roots in Inner Bonding? It begins with Step One: moving into my feelings, my body and accept that I would like to discover my responsibilities in creating this experience. I am aware of my body and my feelings, the awareness is one of my roots.

            I move into Step Two: moving into a compassionate intention to learn. This is key, the very deepest root I can find in the process. I choose learning about what I have created rather than trying to control the process, or focus outside of myself for an answer. I am gentle with myself, without indulging giving myself enough space to observe my feelings without trying to attach a meaning, stuff them down or move them out...in search of the information the feelings can provide for my healing process.

            Step Three: Dialogue with my Wounded Self and Inner Child....in this step I can discover the beliefs that are keeping me from planting the roots of love and compassion. I can discover the roots of blame, shame and anger....as well as addictions I may have used to keep me from feeling the feelings...believing they were too difficult for me to handle....that's a buzz word as well....handle....when I use this word, it alerts me I am trying to control rather than learn. Intent is something I can observe as well during my exploration of the other steps. Has it changed? Has any of the information I've discovered in this dialogue triggered a response to move out of learning and into protections...out of a compassionate intention to learn and into a need to control for fear of the pain I've discovered?

            Step Four: Dialogue with Guidance....in this step I am discovering the truth about my beliefs. I can learn to let go of false beliefs that no longer serve me and with Guidance discover a true loving path....loving actions. This builds my root system as I learn the truth about myself and my beliefs.

            Step Five: Take Loving Action....this is where I sprout my wings. Loving action taken is where I can soar and express the gifts of my essence. Loving action not only give wings, but it strengthens the roots of trust. Trust builds a stronger base and from this base comes the courage and the strength to explore beyond your comfort zone. The comfort zone you will discover is often built by the wounded self in its belief that this is protection.

            Step Six: Evaluate....how do you feel now that you have taken the loving actions discovered in the previous steps? Did I sprout my wings? Am I honoring my gifts and the gifts of others? Anything feel incomplete? Go back to the steps....throughout the day...it becomes a flow...moments of flight....moments of reflection....and connection to love.

            As with the quote....now with Inner Bonding Style becomes... "The greatest gifts you can give your Inner Child are the roots of responsibility (Steps One-Four) and the wings (Step Five) of independence." Truly the practice of Inner Bonding helps you first be a loving parent to yourself, and you can be a powerful example of being a loving adult for all the children you may encounter, whether your own or through others. There is no greater gift....roots and wings!