What Do You Want?

We've entered into new decade. It's a great time to contemplate the previous decade, see the good, the bad, all the challenges that made you set up into the unknown and grow. It is also a time to ask yourself: What do I want to have in my life at the end of this decade?

The path to happiness and inner peace leads through finding out what do you really want? What does your Soul want? What are you passionate about?

Passion is your secret fuel that will keep you going when outside circumstances look like nothing is happening, or even when it looks like you are going backwards. Passion comes from essence, your True Self.

However finding out what do you really want is not that easy as most of us do not have clarity, can feel confused and stuck, or fearful.

Lack of clarity means that you are not present here and now. So you cannot "see" things. Clarity is affected by many things - inappropriate diet, high stress levels, and particularly with unresolved emotional issues, our desperate need not to feel pain or any kind of discomfort. Lack of clarity causes a huge energy leak, and forces a person to reach for a quick fix, to either dwell in a past trying to rewrite it, or going straight into a future trying to have it the way you think it should be the best for you.

Feeling confused or stuck happens when you try to figure out things in your head. You have plans A, B and C, and each step along the way but somehow your plan is not quite perfect, and you try to just rewrite and improve it a bit. Improvement turns into never ending job. Yet perfect plan becomes elusive, and you are more, and more confused, and plainly stuck.

Fear is always a result of some kind of catastrophic thinking or anticipation of bad things happening. Fear means that our thoughts are off mark, and causes us to control people, situations, and life. Fear stops you from taking even a small step.

Finding what you want is a process, and here are some helpful tips.

Write down what do you want. Take half an hour, make sure you will not be disturbed allow yourself to write whatever comes to your mind. At the beginning you will most likely say I want more of this and that - mostly stuff. This is coming from your ego - wounded self that beliefs "stuff" will make you happy. Then you might say I want my wife, partner, husband, in-laws, kids, etc to change and be like whatever you like them to be. Again this is coming from your ego - wounded self that believes your happiness depends on how others behave. Toss these pages as they are not what you really want.

As you keep writing you will start to dig deeper and some very meaningful things will start to surface. You may remember a thing that you wanted to do for a long time, a new activity you wanted to try, an old hobby pushed aside, a course you wanted to take. This will touch your heart. This is when you know you are on the right track.

Give yourself permission not to be perfect and know it all. What you really want is hidden under layers of false and limiting beliefs, expectations coming from our families and society and is not visible to most of us. Once upon a time you knew what you want but you may have been shamed or ridiculed for that so you pushed it away.  Allow that knowledge to come back to you, release any need for perfection, approval, and also a need to know all details in advance. Embrace the journey, and enjoy it.

Start taking small actions. A famous Chinese proverb says: "A journey of thousand miles must begin with the first step.". Start taking small steps. Each step will lead you to the next point where you will get information for next steps. You will notice that some very interesting people are showing up on your path. 

You may hear an inner voice telling you: It is not the right time. I am very busy now. What are others going to think about this? Those are signs that you are after something that is important and meaningful to you but your ego - wounded self is trying to sabotage you.

Most people give up when they encounter fear or this kind of inner chatter. They believe this is a sign they are on the wrong path. They have a false belief that if they really want something they will never get confused, fearful or challenged in any way. The road to their dreams should be a smooth sail. Nothing is further from the truth.

People who are persistent, take small steps over and over again, and work out through those issues break into new levels of clarity and meaning, and reconnect with their passion - a hidden diamond within. Those are people who learned they are co-creators in their life, and if they want something they need to take action for that. Taking action sends a tremendous loving message to your Essence. So it is no coincidence your self-esteem and self-worth go up. It is also a strong message to the Universe. Suddenly opportunities, and information starts to flow to you.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell

Ivanka Jankovic is Holistic Practitioner in private practice trained in Aromatherapy, Inner Bonding and Bach Flower essences. She helps people to restore balance into their life, and create a life of joy, fulfilment, purpose and deep meaning. She works with people locally, nationally and internationally via phone or Skype.