Take a moment to go inside and see how you define success. Is your success defined by:

• How much money you make and or how much money you have?
• Having a big house and an expensive car?
• Having a boat?
• How expensive your clothes are?
• How much you travel?
• Traveling first class on airlines?
• How attractive you are?
• How attractive your partner is?
• How famous you are?
• Winning or being the best at something?
• How many beautiful people want to have sex with you?
• How many friends you have?
• How much attention and approval you get?

Unfortunately, the media often supports defining success in many of the above ways.

But are you successful just because you have a lot of money, even if you had to use others to get it? What if you made millions and others suffered as a result of your choices? What if you live in a big house and drive an expensive car but find it difficult to be loving to your partner or your children - or to yourself?
 

What if...?

What if you defined success by how much to you contribute to another or to society? What if you define success by how kind you are to yourself and to others and by what you contribute to the world? What if success is not defined by how many widgets you sell, but by how many people you help and how joyful you are? 

There are many people who find it easy to make money, or achieve fame but find it very difficult to be kind to themselves and to the people closest to them. There are many people who are outwardly successful yet act out in ways that are harmful to themselves and others. I'm sure that if you think about it, numerous famous pepole come to mind who have achieved everything, but who don't define success and inner worth by being loving to themselves, to their families, and to others. Instead they define success by getting sex, or by whom they control, by how much money they have, or by putting people into space.

What if these people who come to your mind were to define their success and their sense of worth by how well they took loving care of themselves, how kind they were to their families, and how much they contributed to society? Would they choose to harm themselves and others to fill their emptiness and avoid the pain that they are causing by their own self-abandonment?

One example from the past is Michael Jackson, who was incredibly unkind to himself, constantly distorting himself rather than learning to be kind and accepting toward himself. If he had learned to fully embrace his true soul self and to define his worth and success by his ability to love rather than by his looks or approval, he might still be alive.
 

Using Addictions to Fill the Internal Void of Self-abandonment

The movie industry is riddled with stars who have everything - money, fame, looks, admiration - and who struggle with various addictions, such as alcohol, drugs, food, and sex. We see various stars on TV, constantly losing and gaining weight, or going in and out of rehab. Why are they so unhappy and empty that they keep turning to addictions?

Obviously, everything they have externally does nothing to fill the void INTERNALLY.  External success actually does nothing to fill the inner emptiness that leads to substance abuse, sexual addiction, and other forms of addiction, as well as to anger, blame and rage. External success is great for financial security and freedom to do whatever you want, but being a truly joyful person demands a different definition of success.

What if love, kindness, generosity, caring, compassion, empathy, and understanding toward ourselves and others, and helpful contributions to society were lauded as the hallmarks of success? What if our newspapers and news channels devoted their stories to people who had learned how to truly love themselves enough to be able to extend their love out to others and contribute to the good of the planet?  What if supporting our own highest good and the highest good of all was valued more than money? What if kindness - to yourself and with others - was your guiding light?

The chances are that you would know, deep within your soul, that you are a huge success - that you are doing what you came to this planet to do!

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."